This week, we had an interesting discussion on having good marital relationships with our spouses after we get married and after we have children. We discussed a lot in class how the tendency for the natural man or the natural human being is to turn outward and essentially become dismantled, misshaped or to break under pressure, but our goal as children of our Heavenly Father and members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter- day saints or even the goal for those who believe in Christ in general, should be to give up the natural man or woman and seek to become divine through following the perfect example of Jesus Christ and applying his marvelous atonement in our lives.

I know that most people don't believe in love at first sight, and to be honest, I'm not much into the sappy romance stories that are the basis for many novels and romantic movies, but I do believe it happens for some people. It happened that way for my parents, or for my dad anyway. For me, however, I believe that "falling in love" will be different than that. I enjoyed listening to the devotional by Elder Chadwick that talked about how there is not a "one and only" person or soul mate for most people. The truth is that most people will probably have a variety of people that they would work well with and fall in love with and I think that is true for me as far as being in love with someone that I am dating, but if I was to be married, my spouse would be my one and only.

Last month, I started exclusively dating one of my best friends, Jeffrey Ashcraft. I enjoy this relationship with my now, boyfriend. I like to be able to talk to him and to listen to him. I like being around him and I like being able to spend time with him and go on dates with him. I also like it when he holds my hand, although so far we have not done that much. I believe that on a lot of levels, I love Jeff. I love him as my friend. I can see the great person that he is and I like that  he inspires me to be better. I also care about Jeff and love him, even though I know that he is not perfect and even though he makes mistakes. I know that I am not perfect either and that I make mistakes as well, so I do not expect perfection from him. In these ways, I love Jeff, but as far as the romantic kind of love, I am not entirely sure if I feel this for Jeff right now. I know that he is attractive to me, inside and out, but I do not know what exactly this solely passionate love is about and I do not know as was mentioned in class if I am ready to marry Jeff or if I want to marry him yet, but I do know that I want to continue to date him and only him right now, so that we can figure out if we later do want to get married. I am grateful for the chance to date and to go through all the different steps of dating. For me, this seems to be very beneficial and logical, but I recognize that dating and love do not happen the same for everyone and just because this is right for me does not make all other dating and love experiences wrong.

Lately, I have been reflecting on learning and making mistakes. In so many of my classes, the emphasis seems to be on not making mistakes, but as much as I hate making mistakes and even though I get frustrated with myself for making mistakes and for not doing everything right the first time, I have found that mistakes are often a chance for my own growth and development. When I make mistakes, I am given the opportunity to reflect on what went wrong and to figure out how I can improve and do even better the next time and I often will learn far more from my mistakes than I do from the times when I have had success.

I am not suggesting that always making mistakes is good and certainly this is not the case with sin, especially the more serious sin. However, I am suggesting that rather than letting our mistakes become a road block to us, we can allow them to be opportunities for growth and for us to become closer to our Heavenly Father and our Savior, Jesus Christ. I know that it may sound strange, but I am grateful that through Christ, we are allowed to make mistakes and we are also allowed the glorious opportunity to learn from our mistakes and use Christ's atonement to repent of our sins and to become more like Christ. We are allowed the chance to choose for ourselves whom we will follow and what we will do. Satan's plan did not allow for this. His plan was to force us to all follow him. We would all be saved, but we would have remained in the same state that we were in before we came to Earth. We would not be any different than we were before, because we would not be allowed the opportunity to learn and to grow for ourselves. I am so grateful that God loved us enough to allow us to learn and to choose for ourselves righteousness or wickedness. I am also grateful that He gave His only Begotten Son to the world, so that our sins and our mistakes would not lead us to eternal damnation and death. The scripture of 2 Nephi 2: 25 has taken on new meaning to me. "Adam fell that men might be and men are that they might have joy." This life is for us, for our learning, for our growth, and for our opportunity to become more like Heavenly Father. That is truly something we should all be joyous about.

I found it useful to be able to see how one person in the family can affect the family as a whole unit. Yesterday, in class we did a mock session of what it might be like if one member of the family was to move to a different city or different country in hopes of helping their family to have a better life. It was interesting to see the stress and the new challenges that were placed on the family because of the decision that had been made. I found this experience very helpful in broadening my understanding of others and in being more open-mined to those who have cultures and experiences different than my own. I liked how yesterday, we actually got to see things in terms of the family rather than in terms of individuals, because it helped me to realize how one person's decision affects so many more people than just themselves. In society in general, particularly with most of the media, it seems like the focus is all on the individual and doing what is best for that individual in a particular situation  and not taking time to think about the effects that decision will have on anybody else, so I liked that I was able to gain a vital insight into the consequences of our choices and how our choices can influence our given relationships with others, especially within a family.

Today in class, we were learning about family boundaries and how some families have boundaries that are very rigid and make being close to others difficult and other families have very limited boundaries and boundaries that are difficult to define. Our teacher compared it to having a neighbor that has a barbed- wire fence and a neighbor that has no fence. Neither option is really ideal, because on the one hand, you have someone who is hostile or reclusive and very difficult to talk to or be around, but on the other hand, you have someone who is always in your space and never gives you any privacy or opportunity for independence and growth. The ideal home would be to have a place with a white picket fence, where there are boundaries, but people are welcome if they come in through the determined entry. It is the same type of thing with family boundaries. Like so many other things in life, if you have extremes on either end, it is often not healthy and not where you want to be, but if families establish some boundaries and rules, while still not being overly strict or controlling, then this helps to allow the family as a unit to be healthy and have good relationships with each other.

From my own and very limited experience, I have learned that relationships, especially the relationship of marriage will not be perfect or easy. There will not always be times when you experience "romantic love," but I think real love is something that is more than just the passion that you feel towards the other person.I think real love means being unselfish and putting the needs of the other person before your own.  I think real love involves caring about the person despite their weaknesses and imperfections and accepting them for who they are, while still wanting them to be their best. I also believe that real love involves hard work and sacrifice and that through everything, real love can grow stronger and better than before it began.

Today, I am grateful that I know that I am in the right major. I really have learned to think like a sociologist and to be open minded to the views and positions of others while still being able to have the ability to think for myself, which is something that I treasure. I am also grateful for my amazing teachers who took the time to help me develop these skills and inspire me to teach others and to help them in some way.