We talked about remarriage and step-families  in class this past week. Something that I took from class this week was that when parents remarry, they should think about the needs of their children and work to make them involved in the process of the new marriage and in all the transitions and adjustments that will take place when a remarriage takes place. I would have liked to have spent more time talking about this subject, because an increased number of children will live in step-families at some point in their lives and it is a reality that will affect them and their lives, but it is something that they have little or no control over, so I liked the idea of keeping the children involved and having the adults be willing to step back a little and try to think about what would be best for the whole family and not just their own needs. I think that is important, because in any family, I believe that being unselfish and taking the time to really care about those in the family can build and strengthen marriages and this can also help to build and strengthen families as a whole, which I think is ultimately what most families desire.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       

In class this week, we were talking about how to be good parents. I am not married yet and I do not have children, but someday I hope to be a wife and a mother, so I found this discussion interesting. One of the things that I really liked from the discussion was that we talked about how when we are parenting, we should let children experience the natural consequences of their actions as much as it is possible, so that they can learn for themselves. There are only very rare cases when we should not let children experience the natural consequences of their choices and this is when it the choices that are children make will have consequences that are too dangerous for them or when the natural consequences of the choices that our children make could hurt others or damage property. I liked this idea, because I always seem to learn more and retain more when my parents have worked to guide me in making choices and decisions, rather than forcing me to do something.

We talked about the importance of work in families this past week in class. Most of what we talked about in class I had already learned from personal experience in my own family. I had learned how to work hard from my parents. They always made sure that we worked before we played and that we made schoolwork and chores a priority. I am very grateful for my parents teaching me this, because I feel like I was better prepared to live on my own now and to work to earn money to go to school and to do other things in life.

My favorite part of class though, was today when we talked about the importance of having a budget, paying tithing, and having insurance. I liked talking about this today, because all of these were practical ways that we could put our trust in the Lord and also be self-reliant, and I liked that it wasn't just about having food storage, although that is a part of provident living, but another important part of provident living was being smart about our finances and about our life. We can do this by putting the Lord first when we pay our tithing and by making a budget and distinguishing our needs from our wants. We can also strive to live within our means and to work together with our spouse to discuss financial issues. I also liked how it talked about setting up a savings fund for emergencies and other savings for big purchases. I found the pamphlet, One for the Money very helpful and I hope to be able to apply these principles in my life.

This past week in my family relations class we talked about the importance of having good communication with our spouses and with our children and with our parents and brothers and sisters. Something that I really liked was the idea of having family counsels and patterning these counsels after the manner that takes place between the first presidency and the counsel of the twelve apostles. When they have their counsels, they open with a prayer and they begin by first expressing the love that they have for the other members of the group. Only after love has been expressed, do they begin discussing what they came to meet about. Every person then gets to express what they feel and think about the issue or the topic, and they stay until everyone reaches a consensus on the issue. Finally, they end with a word of prayer. I liked this idea, because I believe that when families have the opportunity to discuss things together and to allow everyone to have an equal say, then families can work together and learn from each other to become stronger as a family.

 I also liked the idea that there will be sometimes that the husband and wife need to counsel together and only together to make important decisions, just as sometimes the first presidency of the church will only meet together and counsel together to make certain decisions. I liked this because the relationship that we have with our spouse should be the most important relationship that we can have, except our relationship with our Heavenly Father. Because our relationship with our spouse is so important and so sacred, it makes senses that there should be times when we only counsel with each other and the Lord, and no one else.

We were learning today about how the way that we think can influence not only our thoughts, but also our moods, our abilities to reason and our actions. When we think negative thoughts, even if they are true, they can skew the way that we view life and the way that we feel about ourselves and about others. When we think positively and try to look for the good, this also affects the way we feel about ourselves and about our circumstances and this influences the way that we view other people as well. I was thinking about how being positive and doing something as simple as changing our thoughts for the good can change so many other aspects of life. I was also thinking about how this idea relates to faith. Faith requires us to stretch and to act and when we exercise faith, this means that we are leaving our doubts behind and choosing to believe that something good can come from any circumstance and any trial that we may face. When we have faith, we are able to hope for a bright future and I believe we are allowing ourselves the chance to be happy. I feel like I needed to hear both of these messages this week and I am going to try to consciously work on having more faith and thinking thoughts that are more positive, so that my thoughts can lead me to greater faith.

This week we have been learning about sexual intimacy in marriage. I found it very helpful to discuss the topic of marital intimacy in the context that it was taught in, which was a classroom in a safe environment, where we could openly discuss sex and ask questions, but we could discuss it as guided from a religious standpoint and we could and did incorporate the gospel perspective into our discussion. I found this very helpful and in a way, very refreshing, because the message that I got from this week's classes was a message that was in such stark contrast to how the media and how the world portrays sexual intimacy. I found it nice to hear the message that sexual intimacy is good and even commanded when done in the proper bounds that the Lord has set, which is a man and woman legally and lawfully being married as a husband and wife. In these bounds sexual intimacy is wonderful and good and something that was ordained to strengthen the bond between husband and wife in marriage and to bring them closer together physically, emotionally, and spiritually and it was also ordained for the creation of children. When sexual intimacy takes place in the Lord's way and within his bounds, this is a good thing, but if it takes place in any other way that the Lord has not commanded, then sexual intimacy becomes a very serious sin.

Something else I found helpful from the discussions that we had as a class is the idea that sexual intimacy does not have to take place fast or right away when a man and woman are married. It is something that can be taken slowly, at the speed that both the husband and wife are ready for, and then when the sexual intimacy does take place, it is something where both partners in the marriage need to be sensitive towards the needs of their spouse. Both the husband and wife also need to also need to communicate well with each other and be respectful to the other person. If these things take place in the marriage, prior to and during sexual intimacy, sex can allow the couple to be "one" on many levels and to gain skills that will be useful for them in other aspects of their marriage.

This week, we had an interesting discussion on having good marital relationships with our spouses after we get married and after we have children. We discussed a lot in class how the tendency for the natural man or the natural human being is to turn outward and essentially become dismantled, misshaped or to break under pressure, but our goal as children of our Heavenly Father and members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter- day saints or even the goal for those who believe in Christ in general, should be to give up the natural man or woman and seek to become divine through following the perfect example of Jesus Christ and applying his marvelous atonement in our lives.

I know that most people don't believe in love at first sight, and to be honest, I'm not much into the sappy romance stories that are the basis for many novels and romantic movies, but I do believe it happens for some people. It happened that way for my parents, or for my dad anyway. For me, however, I believe that "falling in love" will be different than that. I enjoyed listening to the devotional by Elder Chadwick that talked about how there is not a "one and only" person or soul mate for most people. The truth is that most people will probably have a variety of people that they would work well with and fall in love with and I think that is true for me as far as being in love with someone that I am dating, but if I was to be married, my spouse would be my one and only.

Last month, I started exclusively dating one of my best friends, Jeffrey Ashcraft. I enjoy this relationship with my now, boyfriend. I like to be able to talk to him and to listen to him. I like being around him and I like being able to spend time with him and go on dates with him. I also like it when he holds my hand, although so far we have not done that much. I believe that on a lot of levels, I love Jeff. I love him as my friend. I can see the great person that he is and I like that  he inspires me to be better. I also care about Jeff and love him, even though I know that he is not perfect and even though he makes mistakes. I know that I am not perfect either and that I make mistakes as well, so I do not expect perfection from him. In these ways, I love Jeff, but as far as the romantic kind of love, I am not entirely sure if I feel this for Jeff right now. I know that he is attractive to me, inside and out, but I do not know what exactly this solely passionate love is about and I do not know as was mentioned in class if I am ready to marry Jeff or if I want to marry him yet, but I do know that I want to continue to date him and only him right now, so that we can figure out if we later do want to get married. I am grateful for the chance to date and to go through all the different steps of dating. For me, this seems to be very beneficial and logical, but I recognize that dating and love do not happen the same for everyone and just because this is right for me does not make all other dating and love experiences wrong.

Lately, I have been reflecting on learning and making mistakes. In so many of my classes, the emphasis seems to be on not making mistakes, but as much as I hate making mistakes and even though I get frustrated with myself for making mistakes and for not doing everything right the first time, I have found that mistakes are often a chance for my own growth and development. When I make mistakes, I am given the opportunity to reflect on what went wrong and to figure out how I can improve and do even better the next time and I often will learn far more from my mistakes than I do from the times when I have had success.

I am not suggesting that always making mistakes is good and certainly this is not the case with sin, especially the more serious sin. However, I am suggesting that rather than letting our mistakes become a road block to us, we can allow them to be opportunities for growth and for us to become closer to our Heavenly Father and our Savior, Jesus Christ. I know that it may sound strange, but I am grateful that through Christ, we are allowed to make mistakes and we are also allowed the glorious opportunity to learn from our mistakes and use Christ's atonement to repent of our sins and to become more like Christ. We are allowed the chance to choose for ourselves whom we will follow and what we will do. Satan's plan did not allow for this. His plan was to force us to all follow him. We would all be saved, but we would have remained in the same state that we were in before we came to Earth. We would not be any different than we were before, because we would not be allowed the opportunity to learn and to grow for ourselves. I am so grateful that God loved us enough to allow us to learn and to choose for ourselves righteousness or wickedness. I am also grateful that He gave His only Begotten Son to the world, so that our sins and our mistakes would not lead us to eternal damnation and death. The scripture of 2 Nephi 2: 25 has taken on new meaning to me. "Adam fell that men might be and men are that they might have joy." This life is for us, for our learning, for our growth, and for our opportunity to become more like Heavenly Father. That is truly something we should all be joyous about.

I found it useful to be able to see how one person in the family can affect the family as a whole unit. Yesterday, in class we did a mock session of what it might be like if one member of the family was to move to a different city or different country in hopes of helping their family to have a better life. It was interesting to see the stress and the new challenges that were placed on the family because of the decision that had been made. I found this experience very helpful in broadening my understanding of others and in being more open-mined to those who have cultures and experiences different than my own. I liked how yesterday, we actually got to see things in terms of the family rather than in terms of individuals, because it helped me to realize how one person's decision affects so many more people than just themselves. In society in general, particularly with most of the media, it seems like the focus is all on the individual and doing what is best for that individual in a particular situation  and not taking time to think about the effects that decision will have on anybody else, so I liked that I was able to gain a vital insight into the consequences of our choices and how our choices can influence our given relationships with others, especially within a family.

Today in class, we were learning about family boundaries and how some families have boundaries that are very rigid and make being close to others difficult and other families have very limited boundaries and boundaries that are difficult to define. Our teacher compared it to having a neighbor that has a barbed- wire fence and a neighbor that has no fence. Neither option is really ideal, because on the one hand, you have someone who is hostile or reclusive and very difficult to talk to or be around, but on the other hand, you have someone who is always in your space and never gives you any privacy or opportunity for independence and growth. The ideal home would be to have a place with a white picket fence, where there are boundaries, but people are welcome if they come in through the determined entry. It is the same type of thing with family boundaries. Like so many other things in life, if you have extremes on either end, it is often not healthy and not where you want to be, but if families establish some boundaries and rules, while still not being overly strict or controlling, then this helps to allow the family as a unit to be healthy and have good relationships with each other.

From my own and very limited experience, I have learned that relationships, especially the relationship of marriage will not be perfect or easy. There will not always be times when you experience "romantic love," but I think real love is something that is more than just the passion that you feel towards the other person.I think real love means being unselfish and putting the needs of the other person before your own.  I think real love involves caring about the person despite their weaknesses and imperfections and accepting them for who they are, while still wanting them to be their best. I also believe that real love involves hard work and sacrifice and that through everything, real love can grow stronger and better than before it began.

Today, I am grateful that I know that I am in the right major. I really have learned to think like a sociologist and to be open minded to the views and positions of others while still being able to have the ability to think for myself, which is something that I treasure. I am also grateful for my amazing teachers who took the time to help me develop these skills and inspire me to teach others and to help them in some way.